...and so it begins.

Tonight has brought me instantly back to middle school. Sitting in class, peering out the window through my thick pink rimmed glasses, and feeling left out. I remember feeling like anything that occurred in school was the ultimate worse case scenario, and that nothing would ever get better. But, then it did. I learned that the cool kids in school usually were just as broken, and just as lonely. Now I need to somehow teach that.

Maddy came home from school today very crabby. Refusing to do anything I asked, and promptly announced that she must throw away her Barbies. She then screamed and shouted until I put her in a warm bath and let her just have a fit. Once she settled down she looked up at me, and with tears in her eyes told me "the Abbys" were mean to her. Instantly I wanted to push the Abbys into a puddle of mud. Maddy told me that they were playing dolls, and when they told Maddy she couldn't play Maddy told them that was not nice. They then said the dreaded phrase... You can not be our best friend. Ugh. So Maddy is being excluded not because of her pink rimmed glasses, acne, or weight.... It's because her name is not Abby. How do I protect her from that?! While the thought of changing her name to Abby skimmed through my mind... I put on my bravest face and told her what I think I would need to hear at her age. That she is loved. That is special, and smart, and creative and if someone did not want to be friends with someone like that, then she is better off without them. I told her that people are sometimes mean. I told her that anytime that happens though, she can know in her heart that her mom and dad are on her side. That her mom and dad are waiting for her to get out of school so that we can love on her. That her mom can be her safe place, and that anything upsetting that happens can be erased. Once she is home, she can take a deep breath.

After that Maddy seemed to be past it, talking about how I need to join PTA and that we need to make sure to bring a DVD in the car. But, as she fell asleep tonight I cried for the little girl that I want to protect. I have not gotten past it quite so quickly. ....and this is only Kindergarten.